Friday night hot spot, sign in the parking lot Free beer ribs ham, all about big jam Paid a double cover then we walked inside Betty Lou started laughed said look at them guys violin keys drums saxophone Some long haired singer singin lookin half stoned Sign outside said country band But the fiddles outta tune And they ain't gotta tele-man Bartender said see the man poundin'on the keys Rumor has it I'm told that he taught jerry lee Heard his sister was married to ervin berlin He plays anything from chopstick to chopin Said I don't care if he wears cashmere Gotta wig on his head and hes def in one ear Or if he goes by the name lud wig van If the fiddles outta tune And they ain't gotta tele-man Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, Willie, and Waylon Johnny cash, Jerry Reed, Patsy and the Possum Ain't none of them stars ever woulda gotta hand If it weren't for a finger lickin Chicken picken tele-man 2 am they were breakin' it down When I heard the singer say "Hey how did it sound" Don't ya come around pickin these bars again Til ya tune that fiddle And ya get yourself a tele-man Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, Willie, and Waylon Johnny cash, Jerry Reed, Patsy and the Possum Ain't none of them stars ever woulda gotta hand If it weren't for a finger lickin Chicken picken tele-man Tick tock, clip clop string pullin tele-man B bender old fender kick it off tele-man