Well that Brits night was so fucking boring 
Past the days of yes, yes, Charlene 
Coke in the bogs till seven in the morning 
Look the wrong way and we end up brawling 
When I had a bit of beef with you know who 
And I fucked a few female stars or two 
Nearly everything I said I'd end getting screwed 
Spitting at the paps, looking rude in the news 
Oh yes, you're still rocking with the best 
Second person in my year to have touched a breast 
I'm nearly forty now and I'm still impressed 
Here's the midlife crisis I guess 
Oh, I recall taking in the wonder of it all 

I'm still looking for an answer through the looking grass 
Still not concentrating at the back of the class 
No thanks, Sir, this one's for you 
It's like a VD clinic: only pricks are in it 
So fucking dull and professional and timid 
To be frank, Sir, I prefer this showbiz chancer 
I still want to get laid by you, right 

Now I know I've got fat, but make no mistake 
Every million that I make they bake me a cake 
So I've got plenty, a hundred and twenty 
Wear clothes of tweed like Amanda Gentry 
I still want to get you naked 
I'll see you in the summer, so glad you could make it 
I'll be that mega white thing, fast as lightning 
A Knebworth shape but twice as frightening 
If they can't be bothered then I promise you this 
If they won't entertain you then I'll do my fucking best 

Still looking for an answer through the looking grass 
Still not concentrating at the back of the class 
No thanks, Sir, this one's for you 
It's like a VD clinic: only pricks are in it 
So fucking corporate and professional and timid 
To be frank, Sir, I prefer this showbiz chancer 
I still want to get laid by you 

Would you let me lay you down right here? 
Would you let me live? 

Still looking for an answer through the looking grass 
Still not concentrating at the back of the class 
No thanks, Sir, this one's for you 
It's like a VD clinic: only pricks are in it 
So fucking dull and professional and timid 
To be frank, Sir, I prefer this showbiz chancer 

I'm still looking for an answer through the looking grass 
Still not concentrating at the back of the class 
No thanks, Sir, this one's for you 
Its like a VD clinic: only pricks are in it 
So fucking corporate and professional and timid 
To be frank, Sir, I prefer this showbiz chancer