Old friend, it's been so long, and it's been so real And if I helped you once it was no big deal Too bad I can't be there when they call your name They're going to write you down in the hall of fame You really got what you wanted, I'm thrilled as pie It really couldn't happen to a nicer guy Put it there pal, put it there Now and then just throw me a crumb Put it there pal, put it there Thanks for the help when I needed it, chum You saw me drowning, you said I was a fake and laughed Then you jumped right in and used me for a raft You shot me down with friendly fire You were all dressed up to play Gun For Hire The rope you threw me was made of barbed wire But put it there pal, put it there, pal Put it there I know you mean well, call me a sentimental fool I know sometimes you've got to be kind to be cruel When you pat me on the back, that was quite some slap That kind of compliment, it could kill a chap So I'll drink your health, oh this emotion's given me a thirst But maybe I'll have my food-taster drink it first Put it there pal, put it there You deserve everything you got coming Put it there pal, put it there Call me up if you want to come slumming Some say you're a rattlesnake in the grass But I say the sun shines out of your arse So it's no hard feelings, live and let live With a gift like yours, you're born to give You're so full of love it leaks out like a sieve So put it there pal, put it there pal Put it there Put it there Put it there Put it there, pal Put it there, pal Put it there, pal