As she kissed me goodbye she kicked my birddog Rolled a stick of dynamite under my pickup Released the breaks on my dear old mother's wheel chair Pushed it down the hill into the path of a speeding semi-truck Then she shot the propane tank with my deer rifle Turned our love nest into one big pile o' wood I hate to be a pessimist but I sense something in her kiss And I'm afraid this time she might be gone for good As she backed out of the drive she hit my Harley Drug it underneath her car down to the street Took a baseball bat to my "See Rock City" mailbox Hollered something at me that I can't repeat Then she whistled for our neighbor and she come a' runnin' And they drove off laughin' through our neighborhood I know they say that love is blind but I think she's givin' me a sign And I believe this time she might be gone for good Yes, I'm afraid this time she might be gone for good No... Wait! I was wrong... She's coming back... Hey baby!... Huh?... What's this?.. A new bowling ball? With a sparkler in it?.. Hey wait!... Where ya goin'?.. Well, well don't run off again!... Hey, Thelma!!! You and Louise come back here, ya hear! Wait a minute... This ain't no bowlin' ball... Why, it's a (BLAM!) This time, she might be gone for good... Timber!! (Plop!)