Pass the pen there Billy Bob, I'll write us up a song
Or perhaps I'll pen a sonnet, if the melody sits all wrong
Hand me down a crayon, and I'll draw a mighty oak
'Cause of all my brother Masons, I'm the quickest with a joke
Catch me in the right light, you'll see my shapes shaped to please
And if I shank my trousers down, I'm hung just above the knees
You may have difficulty catchin' breath, when you hear my weighty name
I'm the one that told you, told you so, they calls me Puddin' Taine
Now step on up to dance the dance, and touch the hand that heals
Like the tallest hog on Wall Street, I'm a wheelin' all the deals
They'll carve my face in marble, they'll etch my name in stone
They'll paint my noble portrait, and historify my home
You may have difficulty catchin' breath, when you hear my weight name
I'm the one that told you, told you so, they calls me Puddin' Taine
