In every hick town in Caledonia 
Across this pseudo nation 
You can see the most fucked up scum 
that was shat into creation 
Where a blue McKewan's lager top equals 
no imagination 

You're hunbelievable 
You're hunbelievable 

What do they do with all the confiscated bevy, 
The polis? 
Buckets and bags of it? 
Give it to the jakies? Nah. 
Drink it themselves? Mibbe. 
Give it back to the retailers 
so they can sell it all back to us over again 
The cunts [echo]
You're hunbelievable 
You're hunbelievable 

The mystery of Scottish sport 
Is why we hate the English so. 
I love the English very much 
As long as they don't fuckin beat us 
in the European nations cup 
You're hunbelievable 
You're hunbelievable 

Sitting outside Wembley in '79, 
Jock punks in London, massive carry out 
Talking to a guy in an ice cream van 
So drunk for weeks and we're goin 
Way past the point of wantin tickets. 
It would be horrendous now if someone 
was to hand you a fuckin ticket 

You'd have to leave all the bevy 
outside the grounds by the polis dump bins 
No fuckin way! 
Ten minutes into the fuckin game 
We'd be climbing up the walls to get out. 
Fuckin hell. 
Remember the banner 
"Alcoholism beats communism"
Well it beats the fuck out of football as well. 

Think you're a success 
Your psyche's a mess 
Your economy is in distress 

Sittin and waiting for the inevitable shot out 
that never comes 
Sittin and waiting for the inevitable shot out 
that never fuckin comes