He wears a green felt hat because he's got no hair Alot of people don't even know he's there He buys sweets for little children and then they refuse him The world's had him a long time but can't use him He's my old uncle Hartington He needs us, we don't need him There goes the doorbell No, don't let him in He's come 'round again uninvited Unexciting when none of us delighted But he's a blood relation, let him in He smokes a foul tobacco stinking out the room He tries so hard to be so nice, I so hate him He's holy and good and wonderful and kind and sweet as treacle If ever you want a favor done, well he will He's my old uncle Hartington He needs us, we don't need him There goes the doorbell No, don't let him in But he's a blood relation, let him in "Please let me in"