Down at the switchboard of the old Tell N' Tale They got some fascinating stories to tell Connie and Val nice old gals Minding the back of the store for 30 years or more Hey Val do you remember that girl back in '72? She looked like Cher sure took some getting used to She was working here all summer and going to college Yeah they musta been teaching her Some funny kinda knowledge She was a nice enough girl Took a trip around the world I don't remember her name though Hey Val do you know? Yeah, well honey the switchboard Beats going to double features You get to talking to some interesting creatures Yeah Connie and Val coupla nice old gals They like to take a little sherry With the obituary Hey Val do you remember that girl Who's ex-husband was a stalker? That was the summer we had that punk rocker Oh boy, what a crazy summer that was Yes she wore a dog collar and some pink and blue fuzz They were nice enough though I wonder where did they go And if that girl is still singing Hey Val, that line is ringing Down at the switchboard of the old Tell N'Tale They got some fascinating stories to tell Don't ever let 'em tell ya that their job is hell Cause pretty soon it'll all be automated well You remember that girl used to make us all lunch Used to make us all laugh and called us honeybunch Then she moved the whole family way back to Idaho Well I surely did hate to see that girl go Connie and Val nice old gals They've seen a few wars but they're still pals And they had a few babies Smoked a million cigarettes They don't need no one to help em When they're placing a bet Oh Connie and Val Connie and Val 30 long years same locale Oh Connie and Val Oh yes Connie and Val Nice old gals that Connie and Val