On your birthday last year, I Secretly put on a corset and Fit it under a bathrobe To surprise you But you ended up talking on the phone With friends for an hour, so I sat stiffly just hoping You wouldn't notice But by the time that you hung up The wire and the clasps had dug Canals and dried water ducts Like a sex map of my chest And I mimicked all the movie stars As I let the terrycloth slip off and As I did, I imagined what This would look like if it weren't us, and I started laughing at myself Pretending to be someone else In that tiny dusty living room Full of candy wrappers and dirty shoes And our cat licking his ass and looking confused And your face contorting with amuse, and I Shared shortness of breath with you I shared shortness of breath with you 'cause Bad sex makes a good joke That anyone can get But good sex makes a bad joke That's only funny if you were there