Behind the counter stood on crutches made of wood A one-legged girl with blue-grey eyes, warm and wise. I fled from that place and from that lovely face That the one-legged girl stole my heart and I need help. Cold November morning, buried under trees. I would stay here all day long except I have to eat. Crack the woods, crack them open both with shovels and yells. Got to find little people, got to ask for their help. And I tell them If I could run fast, as fast as the Flash Or be as cool as Ash in Army of Darkness. If I were a Gai-King or maybe a Viking, Stronger than the Thing then I could win the one-legged girl. Getting close to nighttime, running out of steam. By now I know my family's looking and they'll know right where I'll be. Spy the eyes in the twilight, small and bright, warm and wise. Little hats, little fingers, and a flask full of wine. And I'd tell them If my hand were wheels and if my feet were wheels Then I could roll over all of my rivals. If I could cast a spell or do something swell So that she could tell I was worth her attention. Arms drag me away. The little eyes wink out. Stuffed inside my pocket is a flask of wine. Now I can run as fast as the Flash Or be as cool as Ash in Army of Darkness. Now I'll be a Gai-King or maybe a Viking, Stronger than the Thing. Now I can win the one-legged girl!