Ellen, I fell in big loving with you. 
I saw you by that pool. 
I thought you thought I was cool. 
I felt a longing in my tool. 
So dye your hair 
Or change your name 
Have your left arm surgically removed 
No matter what you do 
I'll be in love with you. 
Ellen, I fell in big loving with you. 
You like corn, you like twelve, 
You keep a pomade on your shelf 
You've got a walnut like myself. 
You've got grooves 
And you've got shoes 
And even though you lose your marbles 
And you panic in a crisis I'm in love with you. 
Pose was once your man but you scared him away. 
Now your man is Dan (that's me!) 
And I am here to stay. 
Ellen, I fell in big loving with you. 
Ellen, I fell in big loving with you. 
If you were blind in one eye, quadriplegic 
Or if you lost all your teeth 
So that I had to chew your food for you, 
No matter what you do, 
I'll be in love with you!