I still never make sense. Still chilling in the same ends. Still living in the yard With my ma and my pa. It feels really different now I pay rent. I suppose that a grown up’s Still looking over my shoulder. Still living in the past. Still thinking of older personas. Still don't wanna change. Don't wanna let go. I'm a doughnut. And I know but I've come to a point where I've got to make choices that I don't wanna make. Where I’m waiting and waiting. But now it's too late to avoid it. And I can't even lie Man I'm half of the guy That my father is. I still wonder if he's disappointed. He tells me he's proud I can tell that he doubts Every now and then. And I'm hardly home eat food then I'm out again. Mum's stressed when I'm out and about with friends. She prays for my safety Ever since Rich got slain and it's making her crazy. And I know the feeling. I still get nightmares Still think of him daily Still think of the hate that fills my mates. I still thank god that he saved me. I'm alone with my thoughts again. Alone with the thoughts that I thought before. I feel so not sure So I talk to them. I'm fighting my thoughts it's a war. And I walk with them. I'm recording See these ain’t just bars that I write. It's more like each line's a part of my mind. And I like what I'm starting to find. And I'm still here I ain't so far gone, I'm real near. I still fight parts of my past. Can't lie, I still feel fear. Still driving the same old car and I still spit the same old bars about how I been hiding and how I keep finding I write what my mind thinks. 'Cause not a thing's changed. I guess my life ain't exciting. I rest, I find days so tiring. I'm tired with nothing to do. And I still got something to prove. Still don't know all the things that I want to know. But I know that I still want to see change happen. Still reminisce once in a blue. Still thinking of people I know and of people I knew. But it’s crazy the change that I seen in the place I was raised. No familiar face on the estate. I'm hoping, really I pray most of my mates found truth in the path that they chose. ‘Cause it's hard and I know And I'm not sure what to say I'm still lost for words. I still wanna do better. Sometimes I still opt for worse. Still trying to put God first.