Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees And begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk? You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse And now you see I've gone completely out of my mind To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time And I'll be happy to see those nice young men with their clean white coats To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time And I'll be happy to see those nice young men with their clean white coats You thought it was a joke and so you laughed You laughed when I had said that losing you would make me flip my lid, right? You know you laughed, I heard you laughed, you laughed But now you know I'm utterly mad To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes I cooked your food, I cleaned your house And this is how you paid me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds. Huh? Well, you just wait - they'll find you yet And when they do, they'll put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt