On my jacket, pal, hit it
Welcome to Room 3:16, everybody
I'm gonna be your host tonight, Rob Feature, as I am every night of the week
Tonight we got this kid, uhh, Murs
He's one of those hip-hop cats goin' 'round and doin' his thing
You know, just to show, I'm here
Ayy, kid you're up

M-U-R-S
You'll probably buy this tape for ten bucks or less
Better than the last shit that you bought, not necessarily the best
But it's guaranteed fresh, by now you know the motto:
"Bustin' my first rap in the new pair of Lottos"
Got better over time, now I got a drunken style
A couple sober rhymes, did a song with Grover
I'm in touch with my roots, excursion t-shirt
Give a shit about a shoe 'cause I don't feel bright
In some clothes that fit me, a true B-Boy
Fuck bein' pretty, name brand sadiddy, did I mention Mid-City?
The centre of the planet
Those who don't know wasn't meant to understand it
Magical times, we movin' on the enchanted
It's one of my favourites
I gotta smoke a beadie every time that I play it
A message, I relay it, anything, I'll say it
Especially if I'm faded
See, I'm the type of fool that'll still sport the swap meet belt
With the M on the buckle (Could tell you did)
Even once we made it

Man, my mamma, she had a belt like that
That's why I got a little bit techy, but anyway kid
I got my own little song that I want to sing in here
Check this out, you guys ready? Here we go
When I was over at the bar I see this little chick, hey
I asked if she would come on over here and suck my- hey!
You're too young for this

It be me and this nigga T
At the club geekin', tryna have a good time but fools act like it's forbidden
To dance with these womens, too hot to play it cool
So forgive me if I'm grinnin'
The ones lookin' hardest be the biggest busters
Well, that's just my opinion
I'd rather be out dance floor reminiscin', you know, the Robocop (What?)
Maybe the Reebok (Uh)
The Smurf, the [?], fools act like they never used to mock old-school rap videos
But times change, now I'm a stranger in the midst of a sea of bumper heads
And designer hip-hop fits (Ugh)
About to call it quits, just call me old-fashioned (What?)
But just an old soul, lovin' music was a passion
About to start flashin'
It seems the DJ's crates don't date past '93
Back then he was into heavy metal, and that's fine with me
But next time you throw a club, put me on the list
Murs, mighty me

You know you always on the list down here at Room 3:16, kid
You basically family
You know, seeing how close I am to your mother and everything
Everything backs up, kid
Anyway, folks, this is "Happy Hour"
Down here Room 3:16, buyin' drinks all up at the bar
Go down there and get you a [?] punch special
You know, get you a Serengeti Sally-Axe Sour down here
You know, we got the best weeds and knuckles in the country down there
That's the only two five-hundred pound bartenders in the country
You and Jazz, you get it, haha?
Ayy, kill me, I want Rory to go get some more of this rum stuff
Okay, okay, ya do?
This is Rob Feature from Room 3:16, I'll be right back at ya

Now I travel 'round the globe, makin' friends, doin' shows
Hamburg, Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Tokyo
Finance the whole crips rate past the mighty O
Did they understand it? Nobody really knows
As the champion of the seven seas (Yeah)
Makin' it happen in America speakin' only Japanese
It's not only the words, but the presence of MCs
Exchange the energy for a small portion of the entrance fees
But what really interests me is my ability to speak and have these people feelin' me
Throwin' down shillings to see a crew that's not yet dealin' MTV
Ask 'em who they came to see
Melancholy Gypsys, Asop, The Grouch
Bizarro and of course MJG

Last one
Alright, G dog, I hope you made a couple new fans tonight out there
I see you smilin' out there
Ayy, you too old for it
Maybe you should come on over and- hey, hey, hey
This, this this one guy is not full enough
This kid needs to eat, look how skinny this cat is
Come on, come on, I know it's not- it's not about features, but it's some new stuff
Helpin' youngsters out, you gotta give to get a little
And you just might get a little
'Cause you already got a whole lot, fool
Oh yeah, what you guys doin' in the new, huh?
Oh well, you know, come back, you know?
Next show in five minutes, you know, I'm gonna be singin' some of the classics
Some of the classics, you know, I used to know the rap gang
We go way back, you know, me and those guys
The Living Legends, yeah
They're pretty hot, yeah
Buh-buh-duh-buh-buh-buh-buh-duh-buh-buh
Yeah, yeah