Is that Madeline Ashton? How much wine have you had? She looks old enough to be Madeline Ashton's mother! I can't breathe God, I need a Xanax An avalanche of Xanax Help, the sky is spinning Hel is here looking like a model How did she... God, I wanna throttle Her perfect little reconstructed neck The industry deserts me She did this to hurt me Now that plain brunette says I look old enough to be my own... My own... My own mother! What is this godforsaken twilight zone? Gotta get my agent on the phone I gotta fix! Wait—Hel—Ernest... All my life, Helen was at best a 4 Now she's glowing in Dior Meanwhile my tits are on the floor Oh, god, it's all falling apart! Oh! How—why—they—just... I'm a two-time Oscar-nominated actress, damnit! Now I'm out of practice, damnit! Why does no one want me? I'm still here, ready as I've ever been But my skin is drooping down, I can't have cameras zooming in! I gotta nip, and tuck, and fill, and freeze And Restylane the lips and Juvederm the knees Fix the bits, lift the tits, try to hide the scars Still, it all keeps falling apart, oh! Oh... All I wanted was a simple life Someone to hold at night While my husband sleeps downstairs The kind of fame that makes you scared to go outside A sassy butler who's on call Tiny gowns because I'm small And that sweet, enchanting feeling of knowing That everything I did made Helen jealous! Do you have your ticket, ma'am? Ma'am? I'm a goddamn ingenue! Do you know who you're talking to? I am, quote: "Madeline Ashton, a stunning delight in an otherwise disappointing franchise" End quote! And who are you? Chance Let me tell you something, Chance I hope you enjoy being young and a man in Hollywood, because I have to sleep upside-down every night like a bat just to give my body a break from gravity! You smug, weak, young, smooth, supple, youthful skin! Give it to me... give me your skin! Oh, I don't want to hurt you, I just want your skin! Must stop time Gotta get the years erased Gotta get a brand-new face Madeline stop! Pull yourself together! Ugh! Where is Ernest? Bet he's under Helen's spell If he still loves her, just as well! Go get her, Ernest! Go to Hel! You never loved me anyway Who even loves me anyway? Rejuvenation awaits you I will not disappear I'll show them I'm still here I will not break or fade to black I swear I'll make my comeback Wrinkled, wrinkled, little star Remind them who the fuck you are Madeline Ashton will not fall apart!