BOO! I'm a ghost! And I'm SCARING YOU! I'm a ghost from another place! From time! BUT I'm HERE NOW! Spooky... BLARG! Ectoplasm ALL OVER YOU!
I feel fine. Initiating morning routine
RAWR!
Debugging hard drive
Ooooohhhh... Come on, this isn't freaking you out?!
Diagnostic complete. I do need to take a shit
AW C'MON! I'm CREEPY!
I have diarrhea. Activiating waste solidification system
C'MON! Just acknowledge me, I'm haunting the fuck out of this place, haven't you heard the THUMPING?! I'VE BEEN THUMPING! And all the creaky doors, that was me! I was coming and going all over this place!
Wait... Detecting an increase in air movement
That's me!
Decrease in temperature...
Yeah, it's me!
Otherwise, nothing to acknowledge
Ugh...
Certainly not a ghost
Aw man...
This darn house is so drafty
THAT'S 'CAUSE I'm IN IT!
Activating shawlogram
Ugh...
It's a shawl. That's a hologram
Oh boy...
But it feels better to me, though it's just a hologram. I wish somebody would send me a real shawlogram. Where a singing delivery boy shows up at your door. And hands you a shawl and sings to you. Comes in for some tea...
I could have tea with you!
And spend some time with you
I'll SPEND TIME!
I am so lonely
You're not alone!
No one is here
I'm HERE!
No entity whatsoever
I'm HERE!
Material or immaterial
Look at me!
I am alone
NO YOU'RE NOT!
No one is here
I'm HERE!
No one to acknowledge
That draft was me! I'm the chill in the air, that's me! IT'S ME!
I'm hungry. Time for my breakfast. But I'm all out of my STEEL CUT OATMEAL
Aw, COME ON!
What... was that?
IT'S ME!
It was... nothing
Ugh...
I'd better drive into town and visit the old general store. Pick up some... STEEL CUT OATMEAL. Which is the kind of oatmeal that... robots eat
Aw, what a bummah, I can't even get a fist bump, can I?! Just one?! One little bump?! For science?!
Where did I put my cane?
Ugh...
Better bring my umbrella, too. Now, where are my orthopedic treads?
THEY'RE WHERE YA FUCKIN' LEFT 'EM, YOU SENILE OLD PIECE OF SHIT!
Whoopsie-daisy. Here there are. Right on my feet. My robot feet. For I am a raobat. They are stuck on my feet, like I am stuck in this lonely, drafty old house. Alone. Neither robot, nor human, nor ghostly entity. No one...
