This didn’t used to be me, old boy This isn’t what I’d want pulling old night fighters in a restaurant There’s smoke and flames behind me where the self-respect all went and I’m behind, behind with the rent I’ve been stitched up like a kipper, old son but I won’t be again Hell hath no fury Oh, I’m like a lot of men Now I’m stalking this old Doris with lascivious intent and I’m behind, behind with the rent Just a little duck and dive and a bit of wheel and deal She’ll remind me I’m alive She’ll remind me I still feel Just a little shelling out for a bit of you-know-what I know this is all about something that I never got Well this crumpet’s past it’s sell-by-date but they all would qualify They’re going to be lonely and be happy to comply She knows that I’m a chancer coming on like a gent but I’m behind, behind with the rent Yes, I’m behind, behind with the rent