Sophisticated
Image
Visually stimulating
Be the life of the party (Heeeeeeeeeeeeey!)
I'm at the Hurricane sippin whiskey and coke
I got a body full of demons and I'm pissy and broke
Scribblin notes on a napkin
Belly full o' Lexapro
Tegan cheated on me and she's tellin me to let her go
My mouth closed as I'm sittin with my friends
I'm a little too shit-faced for listenin to them
Last call, good
I should probably take a cab
But I only got a twenty and I gotta pay the tab
f**kit
I grab my keys and I stumble out the bar
Talkin to myself as I jump into my car
About getting Tegan roses
And how I needa get a 7-layer burrito before Taco Bell
closes
And isn't it a psycho thrill?
That I don't got insurance didn't pay my Geico bill?
I give a f**k I'm doing 50 in a 30
Off the whiskey and I'm swerving
From the misery I'm hurting
Oh shit
I drove right past a cop
And he only let me roll like half a block
Before he turned on the strobe lights fast and stopped
me
He's prolly just an old white fascist Nazi
My car's full of empty water bottles and pot seeds
Little baby bluebird caught me at top speed
Moonshine bloodstream smothered by the black nights
Struts to my car as he's clutching on a flashlight
"Hey bud, how you doin this evening?" "Fine"
"Exceeding, the limits and speedin. Were you doing some
drinking?" "No"
"Cuz your car smells like a liquor cabinet.
You could be the cause of a fatal vicious accident."
"No no no no officer, I only had two glasses of
cabernet
To celebrate that its Saturday
And I can say my ABC's backwards if you're blowing your
picture test Candy"
"Son, you're too drunk to drive and your headlights are
off
I'm sorry but I'm writing you a ticket"
"No!"
"You're sleepin in jail til a clean blue sky.
You're charged with D. U. I.
By the way it's Tuesday" "Shit"
They booked me and took my fingerprints
Took my shoelaces and took my cigarettes
Gotta wait til morning til I get a cold breakfast
And a dirty bail bondsman with a gold necklace
Frat boys and criminals around me sobbing
My head is just pounding, throbbing
I left the words "f**k 95.7" etched in the wall
Then I curled up and slept in a ball, good night
Mom I can't ever get a damn thing right
And I got a DUI tonight
They towed my car and they read my rights
And gave me a DUI tonight
No I can't ever get a damn thing right
Cuz I got a DUI, that's right
They towed my car and they read my rights
And gave me a DUI, I'm not slurring my words!
