if you take this away i have no one to escort my fears 
to the place i have built as my fear-fort. take this 
away and i have no one to hope for, no reason to wait 
through the winter's sad discourse. no moon-like escape 
when the night needs a light source. the look on your 
face when you loved what i stood for. your smell and 
your taste like a note on the front door. a letter to 
say i miss those sad arms of yours. so i lay in my room 
and i dream of the colors that make water move and a 
body discover why so many choose to lay with a lover. 
because just when you think you're getting well you see 
the ring around your heart is held by some sillouette 
turned to walk away but you can tell had a lovely face. 
remember the days when you stayed here long before i 
had to erase all the pictures of horses you'd drawn on 
the space between my night stand and headboard? so what 
now, arrange in disappointment order old lovers' names 
as a decorative border on a window pane while the days 
just grow shorter? or are they the same and it's me 
that grows colder? like a one kid army of the good 
witch, all alone i raise my fist at night on my bike 
around your neighborhood and shout, "make me pure, make 
my heart good." well a vigil today is held in an 
airport to remember and save a love that could not work 
and that beautiful face i never did deserve. and the 
ferns died away, the ones that we planted, too many 
mistakes in the care that they wanted. just their 
skeletons remain now the garden is haunted. and i'm 
wasting away in Georgia but thank god New England's far 
away, Massachusetts i once loved you but there's a 
whole group of states now i dont want to set foot upon 
where i found your diary's list of all the things you 
never did that attic full of feelings hid when you were 
such a shy kid. in bed do you lay under an afghan 
humming and wait to find if the day ends without a 
massive array of self-deprications? oh no wait, no it's 
me who does that. oh no wait, wait it's me who does