Well, they closed down the auto plant in Mahwah late last night Ralph went out lookin' for a job, but he couldn't find none He came home too drunk from mixin' Tanqueray and wine He got a gun, shot a night clerk, now they call him Johnny 99 Down in the part of town where you hit a red light, you don't stop Johnny is wavin' his gun around and threatenin' to blow his top When an off-duty cop snuck up on him from behind Out in front of the Club Tip Top they slapped the cuffs on Johnny 99 Well, the city supplied a public defender But the judge was Mean John Brown He came into the courtroom And stared poor Johnny down "Well, the evidence is clear, gonna let the sentence fit the crime Ninety-eight and a year, we'll call it even, Johnny 99" Fistfight broke out in the courtroom They had to drag Johnny's girl away His mama stood up and shouted "Judge, don't take my boy this way" "Well, son, you got a statement you'd like to make Before the bailiff comes and forever take you away?" "Now, judge, judge, I had no debts no honest man could pay The bank was holdin' my mortgage, they were takin' my house away Now I ain't sayin' that makes me an innocent man But it was more than all this that put that gun in my hand "Well, your honor, I do believe I'd be better off dead And if you can take a man's life for the thoughts that's in his head Then won't you sit back in that chair and think it over, judge, one more time? Let 'em shave off my hair and put me on the execution line"