You said "send me stationary to make me horny" So I always write you letters in multicolours Decorating envelopes for foreplay Damn extended metaphors, I get carried away On the back of a natural disaster, fixed with parcel tape and with kids sticking plaster Nothing says "I miss you" quite like war poetry you carved in your door with a Stanley knife My year in lists Stomping on your fingers as you're clinging on to the abyss So put on every winter coat that you owned since '98 And every midnight sees the countdown to another awful day I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you I cherish with fondness the day before I met you On your request, I compile a list Of my top five resolutions for this year (one!) I declined 'cause I decided that I (two!) Do not believe in the New Year any more (three!) And you must confess that at times like these Hopefulness is tantamount to hopelessness (four!) And I accept that it's time for a change but not in places like this with people like these (five! five! five! five! five!) My year in lists Stomping on your fingers as you're clinging on to the abyss So put on every winter coat that you owned since '98 And every midnight sees the countdown to another awful day I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you I cherish with fondness the day (before) I met you I cherish with fondness the day before I met you.