Happily this afternoon, along the beach I waddle. Looking at the sand, I spy an old forgotten bottle. I scoop it up and look at it. My eyes go big and wide, for heavens yes, there seems to be a treasure map inside! Somewhere at the tail-end of this twisty dotted line a chest of gold awaits, and soon it's going to be mine. I buy a sturdy shovel, since the treasure will be deep. I buy expensive boots, because my old ones are too cheap. I buy a fancy compass and a treasure-hunting cap. Then off I set into the forest, eyes upon my map. So carefully I trace the pathway, every little bend. It's almost getting dark before-- At last! I reach the end. I'm so excited, I can't help but do a little jig. I calm myself, take out my shovel, and proceed to dig. I dig and dig and dig until my hands begin to hurt. Then finally, my treasure chest! All worn and caked in dirt. But when I look inside the chest, I only find a note. Upon it is this simple little message, and I quote: "Everybody wants to find a buried treasure chest, but no one wants to bury one. If you do, be my guest." Pirates are assholes.