As a student of the law, and naturally unbiased I submit that this twit is a bit, no seriously, flawed One conclusion we can draw, his aims are not the highest With those looks and that suit, no dispute It's clear that he's a fraud She's carefree, innocent and trusting She can't see the danger he may pose Obviously, his motives are disgusting Which is my duty to disclose I've got reasonable doubts Lots of reasonable doubts From his questionable conducts To the lingo they spout And it's my professional conviction She should lie beyond his jurisdiction That's just my entirely objective legal view Based upon exhibit A, they're claiming his testimony I could test that at best, he's a pest and, likely, even worse If not criminal for say, a predatory phoney The unappeal is appeal May be real, but culpably adverse She's a pure impressionable victim So demure, I know she won't suspect I'm not sure exactly why she picked him Even so, your honor, I object I've got reasonable doubts Tons of reasonable doubts True, I'm just a little fuzzy On the legal ins and outs But this guy is slicker than a porpoise That he'll try to habeas or corpus FYI, that's nearly my impartial legal view She needs a guy who'll respect her Who will swear to be there should she fall Who won't leer at that sheer little dress Although, yes, not the dress Nonetheless, you're digressing Someone wise to advise and protect her Someone close she can comfortably call And not that you care, you should be aware You legally aren't related at all I've got reasonable doubts, really reasonable doubts About the touchy implications of the precedence he flouts I've got reasonable doubts, super reasonable doubts Someone ought to be observing all their future whereabouts Can't deny his history of partying Should imply a court-appointed guardian Bye the bye, this really is a slanted legal view That's just my entirely objective legal view