This is the story of Mary and Willie Modern lovers who never met They're both lookin' for that perfect love Neither one's found it yet Ya see Willie wants his women beautiful Or Willie, don't want 'em at all If Willie can't have a beauty on his arm Willie stays home Willie drinks beer Willie watches ball That's why Willie ain't got no woman Let's see why Mary ain't got no man Let's take a look at ole hard workin' Mary Got a little business it's doin' well Well, she says her workin' life is heaven Her personal life is hell Maybe Mary is much to choosey And she might wind up alone If Mary can't have mister perfect on her arm Everyone else is wrong Mary ain't got no one to call her baby Willie ain't got no shoulder to learn on Nothin' ordinary Ever do for Willie and Mary That's why Willie ain't got no woman That's why Mary ain't go no man