Alright, alright, alright Everybody give it up for Chester Atkins and his "death-defying poem-reading trick." Um, okay, up next guys—hey, hey, excuse me! Excuse me! Silence PLEASE! Principal Carson has a small penis! Hey! Tommy! Tommy! Hey! Mrs. Baxter, come down here and get Tommy please; take him to my office I'll see you in a second, Thomas, you hear me? Yeah, yeah! Up next we have a band that is steeped in old-timey rock-n-roll They also wanted me to tell ya That if you like what you hear You can purchase their album behind the stands of the football fields today As soon as school lets out, alright? Okay, everybody give it up for Koe Wetzel, yeah! Um, hello, um We are—or I am—we [?] called Koe Wetzel! Nobody gives a fuck!