Ready? Ready! Ready The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner Now, signorini, signori We mix-a the lather But first-a you gather Around, signorini, signori You looking a man Who have had-a da glory To shave-a da Pope! Mr. Sweeney whoever- I beg-a your pardon—'ll Probably say it was only a cardinal— Nope! It was-a da Pope! To shave-a the face To cut-a da hair Require the grace Require the flair For if-a you slip You nick da skin You clip-a da chin You rip-a da lip a bit Beyond repair! To shave-a da face Or even a part Widout it-a smart Require da heart Not just-a da flash It take-a panache It take-a da passion for the art To shave-a da face To trim-a da beard To make-a da bristle Clean like a whistle Dis is from early infancy Da talent give to me By God! It take-a da skill It take-a da brains It take-a da will To take-a da pains It take-a da pace It take-a the grace— The winner is Todd!