When you're ready for steady to go dancin', romancin' Grab your sweetheart and jump in your car Drive right on down to the bright side of town You'll be glad you don't have to drive far You'll be happy you don't have to go far Park your pick-ups and Cadillacs and fords and Renaults Get out and dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz My pickup needs a tune-up, I better get up and make up My mind to get on it today The tractor's been actin' up and the sewer lines are backin' up But I'll be dancin' tonight anyway I'll be dancin' tonight anyway 'Cause I count my blessings, I don't count my faults I like to dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz Well I found a young cow-dog an' I told him, "Now, now dog You're a borderline collie, I'm a borderline fool? But he had some bad habits, he was scared of jack rabbits I sent him off to canine school I think they call it obedience school But when he came back he couldn't tell a cow from a horse But he could dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz Grand mammy, grand pappy if you wanna stay happy Better lace up your best dancin' shoes Come see us, don't write us, you can stop your arthritis Just by dancin' away your blues Now ,just by dancin' away your blues So bind up your bunions with band-aids and gauze And come on, dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz Oh yeah, hey Mama I met a fine lady banker and I'd sure like to thank her For the credit she gave me made me shout She changed my whole attitude and to show her my little gratitude I decided I'd just ask her out Yeah, I thought I just might ask her out I said, ?Close up your windows and lock up your vaults And lets go dance like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz? We spent the next to last dollar in the old ice cream parlor On a milkshake and a malt and a pop And then we heard us some sounds, was a honky tonk lounge Driving next to the ice cream shop Next door to the ice cream shop Now only two things are better than milkshakes and malts And one is dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz And the other is somethin' but really it's nothin' To speak of, it's somethin' to do And if you've done it before you'll be doin' it some more Just as soon as the dancin' is through Right after the dancin' is through And if anybody asks you why, just tell 'em because You been dancin' like the dickens to the West Texas Waltz