There was a boy in Arkansas
Who would not listen to his Ma
When she told him he should go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon
Take a little walk then pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn

Well he'd stand and listen carefully
Then pretty soon he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said, "Oh my, it's do or die.
I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer

25 dollar bid it now, 30 dollar 30
Will you gimme 30 make it 30
Bid it on a 30 dollar will you gimme 30
Who'll bid a 30 dollar bid?
30 dollar bid it now, 35, will you gimme 35
To make it 35 to bid at 35
Who would a-bid it at a 35 dollar bid?

As time went on, he did his best
And all could see he didn't jest
He practiced calling bids both night and day
His Pap would find him behind the barn
Just working up an awful storm
Tryin' his best to imitate the auctioneer

Well his Pap said, "Son, we just can't stand
To have a mediocre man
Sellin' things at auction using our good name
We'll send you off to auction school
Then you'll be nobody's fool
You can take your place among the best"

35 dollar bid it now a 40 dollar 40
Will you gimme 40 make it 40
Biddin' it on a 40 dollar will you gimme 40
Who'll bid a 40 dollar bid?
40 dollar bid it now, 45, will you gimme 45
To make it a 45 to bid it a 45
Who would a-bid it at a 45 dollar bid?

Now from that boy who went to school
There grew a man who played it cool
He came back home a full-fledged auctioneer
Then the people came from miles around
Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer

But his fame spread out from shore to shore
He had all he could do and more
Had to buy a plane to get around
Now he's the tops in all the land
Now let's pause and give that man a hand
He's the best of all the auctioneers

45 dollar bid it now a 50 dollar 50
Will you gimme 50 make it 50
Biddin' it on a 50 dollar will you gimme 50
Who'll bid a 50 dollar bid?
50 dollar bid it now, 55, will you gimme 55
To make it a 55 to bid at 55
Sold that hog for a 50 dollar bid