Well, there's 3 things to know about weed Or is it 2 things to know about pot 1. It's bad for your memory And the other one I plum forgot Whoa Weed's gonna make you a dumb-ass But it's gonna feel pretty profound You'll learn to say "Honey, I can't!" And "Baby, it's just a plant!" While you're stoned as a bone on the ground It's just a plant Like poppies and sugar cane Coca and some science make some good cocaine I ain't crazy about doctors And this is just a song But the self-administration of your favorite bong Probably ain't what you need to keep on keeping on Weed ain't the devil But weed ain't a saint It's all pretty good 'til it ain't Weed's gonna make you a dumb-ass Banging your head like a gong Dabs and shatter and wax And they call it relaxing Staring out the window for the cops And ya can't get addicted The command is in your hands Then quit tomorrow forever And if ya won't, then ya can't I ain't tryna be mean Or make ya feel bad It's just a lie that you're told That I don't understand it Weed ain't the devil But weed ain't a saint It's all pretty good 'til it ain't Weed's gonna make you a dumb-ass But you shouldn't be doing time Drugs are bad mm-kay You know they get in the way Of being yourself And that's the crime Give air a chance