Real talk Laying in this bed alone I'm proud she got away from me it wasn't easy letting go I've been faded since we meet I bet you've never known That I ain't really smile since the day we left the meth alone Still these junkies lining up like they on methadone Tried to get a job but got denied it's to much effort though Bitches saying that they love me but I bet you don't They just see me and they think that I'm the next to blow Lately I ain't even taken my meds I can feel it changing my head Paranoia got me hating my friends Paranoid it's got me thinking I'll be safe when I'm dead It was a mistake that we meet I get scared that's why it's only hoes that I take to my bed Lost the best thing that I had and I can't shake the regret She's shaking her head I wish I could shake this depression I try to tell em I'm brain numb but it's fake and pretend I've got these snakes for my friends Brothers till then statements were read Now I'm one ounce trying find way to progress But still gotta flip packets trying pay for my rent Trying get clean but I'm still making a mess Eighteen up in the city spotting "H" with my friends Sipping lean and eating xanies fucking played with my head All these bitches wanna bicker then they change what they said Probably why I'm sipping rikodeine and pray for my death But taking a breath was easier when you were with me though But I know that I'll hurt you look how my history go I keep fucking these bitches hoping they lift the load I hate that I'm a piece of shit but I still miss you though I keep having dreams of me and you under the mistletoe Paranoid about these jax an D's and were my kids will go Writing raps like yea this shit will blow Nah fuck I'm still ticking boxes to my little bro Give me a million house out in Philly Give me a Rolls Royce Not asking for no one's pity I want a stack so big that it breaks the bank I'm looking back, I'm thankful I never sank Cause I been knee deep, I been up to my neck In big dramas, the most of these cunts will never expect I've had family that have lost my respect Tell me that they are gonna fix it but I ain't holding my breath My baby mama, she wish she saw me dead But she just jealous her cousins now in my bed Having sleepovers from nights with each other span I got scars from these fights that I'm fighting will never mend Telling me she loves me, she wants me to have her hand But I got trust issues so give me them rubber bands Fuck living with bitches, give me them figures They all the same, money hungry gold diggers It's like this, I fall in love with a sliced wrist Before I give my heart to any girl I'ma write this In the eye of the storm right in my form How the fuck you expect my heart when it's already torn