You call me up in the mornings 
We'll stay on the phone until dawning 
You tell me secrets I actually keep 
You call me up around noon and 
Bring me all the good gossip 
You hold my head when I throw up 
I hold your hand when you weep 

And we talk about friends and we talk about records, 
Talk about life and we'll talk about death 
And we dance in the living room, dance on the sidewalks 
Dance in the movies, dance at the festivals, dance, dance 
No men ever really dance like this 

Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was, and that you were too 

Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was, so I could fall in love with you 

You call me up in the evenings 
And tell me what they did this time 
No matter what, I'm by your side 
When it's raining, we'll go to the video store 
We even like the same movies 
No damn jedis or hobbits this time 

And you laugh at my jokes and I laugh at your jokes 
And I even like the birthday presents you get me 
And we dance in the living room, dance on the sidewalks 
Dance in the movies, dance at the festivals, let's dance, dance 
No men ever really dance like this 

Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was, and that you were too 

Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was a lesbian 
Damn! I wish I was, so I could fall in love with you 
So I could fall in love with you 

Why don't, why don't I fall 
Why don't, why don't I fall 
Why don't I just fall in love with you 

Why don't, why don't I fall 
Why don't, why don't I fall 
Why don't I just fall in love with you 

Why don't, why don't I fall 
Why don't, why don't I fall 
Why don't I just fall in love with you