Unemployment's rising in the Chigley part of town And it's spreading like pneumonia Doesn't look like going down There's trouble at the fire station Someone's had the sack And the lad's are going to launch a scheme To get rid of Captain Flack Tell PC McGarry to get himself a mate And arm themselves with CS gas They're going to be out late We've had Cant Conformism since 1966 And now subversions in the air In the shape of flying bricks Someone get a message through to Captain Snort That they better start assembling the boys from the fort And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight 'Cos there's going to be a riot down in Trumpton tonight All this aristocracy has really got to stop We could overthrow the surgery And Kidnap Dr Mopp Then Chippy Minton's Socialists Could storm the market square And make plans to assasinate Our autocratic mayor Windy Militant leads his Basque-like Corngrinders to war With windmill sails and bombs with nails They smash the Town Hall door But Snorty and his boys arrive with one big erstwhile crew Whereupon they bring about a military coup Someone get a message through to Captain Snort That they better start assembling the boys from the fort And keep Mrs Honeyman right out of sight 'Cos there's going to be a riot down in Trumpton tonight