I entered the room and the canned laughter Ethel was angled across some dude's knee I offered to clothe her to feed and to bath her If she'd just give me a little exclusivity Depth Charge Ethel is something special Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is special to me Ethel is a woman that a river runs through She is famous throughout the land People come and bathe in her, yeah, you know, I do But lately its been getting right out of hand Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me To kiss Ethel is like drinking the stars To not kiss her can make you come unglued So if you want a piece of her you better get in there fast Right now there is a ticket box and a queue Depth Charge Ethel is something special Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me Depth Charge Ethel thinks we should all just take a chance We should all love one another, it could be special I'm in the back of a taxicab with ants in my pants (I can't sit still) I know there gonna send me Depth Charge Ethel is something special She's something special she's heavy metal