His life was a breeze
Just one thing left to appease 
Wanna give that bottle a squeeze 
and look just like Charlize?
But these times are so hard 
Must do more than lay in the yard 
To look like a Belize postcard 
or a reality star 
But this story's tragic
You don't turn orange by magic 
You could do it solar like Rick
or stick your ass in a thick 
tank full of darque waves 'cause it's the latest craze 
Do it for forty days, 
get accused of wearing blackface-oh! 

DARQUE TAN, HE'S A FAN!
DARQUE TAN, NO MORE WAN!!
DARQUE TAN, IT'S HIS PLAN!!!
DARQUE TAN, CHILDREN RAN!!!!

I knew it was a bad idea when he got into that bed
I never knew it would come to this
'til he looked at me and said 
I wanna get a tan! Uh-uh!!
I wanna get a tan!! Bad idea!!! 
I wanna get a tan!!! I don't think so!!!! 
I wanna get a tan!!!! TOO SCARY!!!! 

And now he's dead,
I'll never see him again
He turned orange, then he turned red 
No one wins in the end 
Then he died, 
his face was fried 
In the booth all that's left is a tooth 
He turned red,
then he turned dead 
Listen and learn...or you, too, will be burned.