Uncle Toad sittin' by the old south gate Waitin' them boys they bin stayin' out late Uncle Toad thinks, they're way out of line Maybe they think, he is past his prime Uncle Toad said, ?Better straighten up right? When uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight Uncle Toad lived in the wood out back Lived in the shade of a utility shack He looked in at the big brick house At the girls as quiet as a mouse Uncle Toad said, ?you had best get it right? When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight Uncle Toad tucked in the compost pile Out by the back door, look at him smile He said, ?Kid stop drinkin' that brew Plan while ya can or the joke's on you? Uncle Toad said, ?Better straighten up right? When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight Uncle Toad sittin' by the swimmin' pool Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool Sits in the sun when the girls walk by Maybe they think, he's a little bit sly Uncle Toad said, ?You had best get it right? When Uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight Uncle Toad sittin' by the cool mill race All day long with a grin on his face He said, ?Boys you had better not try Kissin' 'em girls 'cause I won't stand by? Uncle Toad sittin' by the wrought iron fence Lookin' at the moon like it don't make sense We say, Toad here's lookin' at you Hopin' you get your wish too Sway to the left, sway to the right When uncle Toad spoke it was not a pretty sight