I used to shut my door while my mother screamed in the kitchen I'd turn the music up, (TRADEMARK) get high and try not to listen I thought I lost it (every little fight) I thought I lost it (cause neither one was right) Lost it (I swore I'd never be like them But I was just a kid back then) Remember them days, we'll play, at mommy house Thinking about it give me chills, can't cry right now No feeling inside, it's like they took my soul out Hospital bed, tears droppin' on your hands now All we got is memories they can't replace that Call your phone, praise the lord, when you answer that Take me to Long Beach I know that's where you probably at This store got everything you need that's why you shopped there As I look at my aunties it still feel like you right here Know my momma hurt Need to see my momma more What is life without the ones that you love Your son died it's like he told you to come We got two angels in one Sometimes I, post in the sun can you see where I am And the family need comfort, seem like he don't understand This shit ain't right They only show love when you die We share the same blood we just alive I stand in the sun Tryna see you, staring in the sun Please I used to shut my door while my mother screamed in the kitchen I'd turn the music up, get high and try not to listen To every little fight 'cause neither one was right I swore I'd never be like them But I was just a kid back then The older I get All my life I felt pain I dealt with death I lost my mind I felt sane Like the weather got a change I seen sun I felt rain I gained fame I locked in then wealth came Now I'm on my 12th chain I left the hood I'm all good But my mental health ain't I keep my family safe can't keep myself safe I can't grieve I need a lesson I got cheese beneath the blessin' No more squeezin' smith & wessons I can't breathe cause I been stressin' I'm not leavin' I got hope Need a drink cause I can't dope Caused my granny- (I choked) I'm now the reason bro got smoked Really here to ask myself I be wantin' blast myself I be bout to latch myself I'm just tryna grasp myself, for real Reason I be off pills I lost Cap I caught chills I lost Max I couldn't kill Give a fuck about them bills Took that shit, I bought wheels I couldn't tell them how I feel I can't tell them how I felt Take that pain by myself Got my flame by myself Made my name by myself Now I hang by myself Can't complain but I'm really hurtin' On my grind I'm still workin' It's my time I know my purpose So this shit was all worth it Know that The older I get, the more that I see My parents aren't heroes, they're just like me And loving is hard, it don't always work You just try your best not to get hurt I used to be mad, but now I know Sometimes it's better to let someone go It just hadn't hit me yet The older I get I used to wonder