Petrov, Yelena, and Me
Lost but happy at sea
Petrov and Yelena said to me,
Shouldn't we have something to eat?
But I said there are plenty of fish in the sea,
BUt all they can see is me

They said, "Any last requests?"
Biding my time, I say "Yes!
I want to party just us three
Lost, but happy at sea".

So we drank all night from the keg
I passed out then I woke with one leg
I said "Petrov, have you seen my leg?"
He said, "No", and he went back to bed...
But he looked suspiciously well-fit.

Three days later they were hungry aga-a-a-in.
They said, "Any last requests again, my friend?"

I said, "Umm... Do you know the Rolling Stones?
You know like the Rock Concert, going "More! More!", 
You know?"
Ah.. It was a hilarious, hilarious moment in a bleak, 
bleak time of my life.

So, we danced all night to the Rolling Stones.
When I awoke they were chewing on bones.
Yelena was sucking blood from the tub,
That's when I knew something was up

"Hey Petrov"
"What is that you're eating?"
"It looks like meat"
"Oh, this... It's just... one of those... fish"
"How come it looks so much like my arm?"
"It's an arm fish"
"What about the fingers?"
"Fish fingers"
"You see, the thing is my arm seemed to have been 
hacked off at the elbow last night. I was just 
wondering if you might have seen it?"
"Oh yeah... Look at that - no arm over there. Oh... 
Don't you hate it when that happens... I don't know - 
you were very drunk last night. Perhaps, you lost it in 
a fair game of chance?"
"Ohh.. You're probably right"
"Just relax. Enjoy the sea and have some... fish"