Slick Nick stole the reindeer from the zoo
Fell down my chimney with a keg of brew
Put my dog out in the cold
Ripped off the candy from my socks
Smokin' cloves and drinkin' Scotch

Slick Nick you devil you
(Devil you, devil you)
Slick Nick you devil you
(Devil you, devil you)

Dressed in red and overweight boot
Stole the TV and the stereo
And the toys
The toys were broken too

You devil you
(Devil you, devil you)
Slick Nick, Nick you devil you
(Devil you, devil you, devil you)

I saw Slick Nick fall over the X-mas tree
He was a whole different man from what mom and dad told me
Spillin' Jack Daniels all over the drapes
Spray-paintin' a bad finger over the fireplace
Tattoos on his arms and knees
I never thought Santa Claus would be such a sleaze but

Slick Nick you devil you, you devil you
(Devil you, devil you)
You just a devil you, you just a devil you
You just a devil, devil, devil, devil

Cussin' and coppin' and playin' punk-rock
And every once in a while you'd just scratch your jock
Hey, Slick Nick, where are my toys ?
You went drinkin' with the boys
You put Mad Dog in my sock, I wanted candy
I wanted candy, I wanted candy

Oh, oh, I thought you were my buddy and chum
But you're just a downtown bum
Instead of puttin' presents in front of my eyes
You just told me a bunch of lies

Oh, Slick Nick, devil you
(Devil you, devil you, devil you, ooh)
Oh, Santa Claus
(Devil you, devil you, devil you)
(Devil you, devil you, devil you, ooh)