Sitting there in that dark saloon Playing cards to a rag time tune A big old fellow started eyeing me mean And on his hip he had an iron machine Well I had one too But I didn't wanna use it Till he reached for his And I had to beat him to it Shot him thru his heart Like an arrow from cupid And I can't be to blame Cause santa made me do it Later that night on a midnight right Passed by a ranchers house with a colt outside Then I shared a look Between my horse & I And in that moment Him & I conspired So I hopped that fence And I coo'd that colt Gave him a carrot to chomp on While I untied him from the post Lead him down the trail He became my new pet And it's not my fault Cause santa made me do it The next town I hit I do decree There was a fancy bank full of currency So I stepped inside with my trusty six shooter And just to prove I was a big bad bank robber I shot one in the air, told em "Hit the floor Give me everything you've got, & then some more" I tossed my sack to the old bank teller He said: "Ain't you that bandit, santa's little helper?" I said "Yes I am" And there's no way that I wasn't And it's not me robbing you It's really santa who does it And he said "Ain't you the one with a bag full of loot And who burst in here with a bullet to shoot?" I said "I've got five more, don't make me prove it, & if anything should happen, santa made me do it."