She was giddy 
with remorse 
As she skipped 
river stones 
Off slick rapid 
rushing heads 
Babies belched 
from below 

Clenching shame in 
her stomach 
It felt the same as the 
last time 
Cramming fear in her 
white fists 
Hoping this is the 
last time 

She put rocks in 
her pockets 
Knowing wet gravity 
Shrunk away from the 
water's edge 
Fell down hard by a tree 

She stuffed shame in 
her pockets 
It felt the same as the 
last time 

She crammed fear in her 
white fists 
And hope this is the 
last time 

Brainsqueals 
Same as the last time 
Brainsqueals 
She hope this is the 
last time