Man X went up to Man Y,
Stepped in his garden and spat in his eye
And said ‘I aint movin’ your grass is greener-
You wanna settle this name your arena’
First we made the Wheel
Then we made the Car
Then we made the Bomb
Now it’s all gone wrong
First we made the Wheel
Then we made the Car
Then we made the Bomb
Now it’s all gone wrong
We used to be content with a piece of charcoal
Sketching on walls in a gloomy dark hole
Then we put our strengths into building castles
Now we’re a tribe of destructive arseholes
Crawled on all fours our hands replaced paws-
As if we foresaw we would open doors
From trees we made oars to explore the shores
We were madly obsessed with the great outdoors
But not in that order I hear you moanin
But what can you tell from a fossilised stone
In a pile of bones the truth becomes clear
We Pioneered schemes just too severe
Way back then there were few concerns
Find meat to eat, chop wood to burn
And learn to avoid the sabre-toothed tiger
Now our biggest enemy is laser-guided
Too much weight draped on our shoulders
The land that we knew stood firm to hold us
Colonisation is what they sold us
So someone decided we needed soldiers
Destructive forces is what they told us
Invent the engine replace the horses
We stretched resources to drive our Porsches
And now it’s all gone wrong
First we made the Wheel
Then we made the Car
Then we made the Bomb
Now it’s all gone wrong
First we made the Wheel
Then we made the Car
Then we made the Bomb
Now it’s all gone wrong
Man X had forgotten Man Y
He was too busy tryna learn to fly
Meanwhile Man Y mixed a potion
And flattened Man X with a huge explosion
You can turn your backs but you can’t ignore me
There’s a part of this story that’s truly gory
You gotta feel sickness as I depict this
You never can escape that you’ve been a witness
Hunting the deer we became distracted
Disturbed by the way that our neighbours acted
Jumped to conclusions with sick delusions
Cos bulk intrusions had us confused
Began with the fusion of elements new
And strongly denied we’d developed a brew
To burn off flesh of an irrelevant few
A malevolent crew not benevolent
The traitor we hated penned the paper
Concocted a potion to make him greater
We knocked up a treat in a laboratory
At the time of conception it shouted glory
Reel off a list of the usual suspects
Subjectively speaking we all got defects
We all cavemen in a suit and tie
Man why you opposing conform or die
I know I’ve put it simply and quite condensed
The wheel was a brainstorm of commonest sense
But now we need a branch just for terror defence
So somewhere it went wrong, hence…
First we made the Wheel
Then we made the Car
Then we made the Bomb
Now it’s all gone wrong
First we made the Wheel
Then we made the Car
Then we made the Bomb
Now it’s all gone wrong
