She traded her love
For all of that candy
Now it's tacky money that got stuck on her hands
She took his name
He took her to bed
Gave her a winding sheet and a long line of credit

I suppose a little cash is all fine and dandy
With his stocks and his shares
Pinned to her underwear

In time, more and more riches would come
Her way
So I said
Give me my daily bread
Even one crumb
How could she leave me
For Pure Bubblegum

Turn it on and dial it in
Broadcast to infinity
K-SHT
Missing one I, aye-aye, that's me

The I.R.S. turned me upside down for my last red cent
The C.I.A. said, "You had better repent"
A.B.C.D.F.G.
Every Good Boy Deserves...
33 and 1/3 Flavors
57 Varieties
These are your priorities

You and your God-Fearing Granny
You and your Hatenanny
You and your Continental
You and your Lincoln Rockwell
You and your editorial
Your Flea-Market Memorial
Your Burt and Shirley
Signed "Sincerely"
You and your Snowbird
You and your code word
Mother's necessity
Your secret recipe
You and your cherry pie
You and your pickled plum
Sit there and suck your thumb
Sing "We Shall Overcome"

All in a long-winded hum with a big broken drum
They can't stick it
So for my next trick

Who can spend the most
Chew on the bed-post?
Squint at the blueprint
Spit out the peppermint
Sprinkle this simpleton with the powder of cinnamon

Applause for your escape
Scissor the ruby tape
Paint my nail purple tint
Dance in my footprint
Dumb down the discipline
For this fine citizen

Now see what I've become
Pure Bubblegum
Pure Bubblegum
Sprinkle this simpleton with the powder of cinnamon
Pure Bubblegum