In life one has to face a huge assortment Of nauseating fads and good advice There's health and fitness, diet and deportment And other pointless forms of sacrifice Conversation, wit, I am a doubter Manners, charm, they're no way to impress So forget the inner me, observe the outer I am what I wear and how I dress Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere Overwear, underwear, anytime, anywhere, ooh Now I believe in looking like my time on earth is cooking Whether polka-dotted stripes or even checks With some glamour guaranteeing every fiber of my being Is displayed to quite remarkable effects From your cradle via trousseau to your death bed you're on view so Never compromise accept no substitute I would rather wear a barrel than conservative apparel Dress has always been my strongest suit Staying in or hitting townwards, from the top and working downwards I ensure that every stitch is stitched in time Whether wig or hat or turban, whether clad boudoir or urban Not to strut your stuff outrageously's a crime And the few who are invited to my wardrobe are delighted As they wander through my things to find en route That in negligee or formal I am anything but normal Dress has always been my strongest suit Now you don't need a recital of the reasons why its vital That tonight I simply have to look my best That from coronet to sandal no one else is worth a candle That I couldn't make more impact if I'm dressed So bring me out my finest, most audacious, my divinest Most revealing, most expensive and to boot Most arresting, most heart-stopping, most free-flowing, most eye-popping Dress has always been my strongest suit