Things have come to a pretty pass Our romance is growing flat, For you like this and the other While I go for this and that, Goodness knows what the end will be Oh I don't know where I'm at It looks as if we two will never be one Something must be done: You say either and I say either, You say neither and I say neither Either, either Neither, neither Let's call the whole thing off. You like potato and I like potahto You like tomato and I like tomahto Potato, potahto, Tomato, tomahto. Let's call the whole thing off But oh, if we call the whole thing off Then we must part And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas, I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmas For we know we need each other so we Better call the whole thing off Let's call the whole thing off. You say laughter and I say larfter You say after and I say arfter Laughter, larfter after arfter Let's call the whole thing off, You like vanilla and I like vanella You saspiralla, and I saspirella Vanilla vanella chocolate strawberry Let's call the whole thing off But oh if we call the whole thing of then we must part And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters For we know we need each other so we Better call the calling off off, Let's call the whole thing off. I say father, and you say pater, I saw mother and you say mater Pater, mater Uncle, auntie let's call the whole thing off. I like bananas and you like banahnahs I say Havana and I get Havahnah Bananas, banahnahs Havana, Havahnah Go your way, I'll go mine So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters, So all right no contest we'll order lobster For we know we need each other so we Better call the calling off off, Let's call the whole thing off.