There’s a lot of bad wood underneath the veneer 
She’s an overnight sensation after twenty five years 
Sharp fast curves, power steering 
unroll that twenty, buy me some beer 
Ain’t too bad, too bad at all, pick up the phone if I ever call 
Hell No, I Ain’t Happy. 

There’s a purdy little girl outside the van window 
Bout 80 cities down, 800 to go 
Six crammed in, we ain’t never alone 
Never homesick, ain’t got no home 
Check my mail if you would please, Jenn 
Collect my things till I’m in town again 
Hell No, I Ain’t Happy. 

But I get a little closer everyday 
Gonna be a long time till I’m back your way. 

I’ve seen just how much I can stand 
One night in Kansas City, we thought about killing a man 
Seen my number fly by on Interstate Ten 
Seen the mountains of Montana at Seven AM. 
And I keep it all together for the sake of the kids 
Got your fine-ass self on the back of my lids 
Hell No, I Ain’t Happy. 
But I ain’t too crappy, too crappy at all.