I've never had a filling and I've got blue eyes I've got every kind of lipstick you can buy I've got 3 cupboards for my shoes And a mirror that always tells the truth I've got clothes in case it's hot Clothes for when it's cold But still I don't know what to wear What to wear tonight I've got the concentration of a small child Patience - well, not all the time A wounded look and a silly smile That always gets me what I want I've got a garden, but it has no grass It's got plastic chairs and the tables glass My cat at home thinks it's a dog And who am I to judge if that's odd? I've got a lot of cards on my shelf Everyone of them written to myself I've got a million pounds in the bank (Don't be silly you haven't been to a bank in your life) There's a woman next door who robbed a bank A man upstairs who likes to drink And sing to us at 3 in the morning I've got 5 best friends, 2 parents and a brother And a man at home who likes to think That every song's written for him So this one's for you