This is not a subject many are approaching in rap
Among the showboating and boasts, I know I'm so full of crap
But I won't be complete without penning an ode to the fact
That I feel most at home stroking a cat
I feel his paws on my shoulder so I turn and I'm poking him back
He kneads my knees and I know he's cozy
The chap's hoping to doze in my lap
It's fairly safe to say I'm open to that
Because I'm most at home stroking a cat
Jimmy
I'm stroking a cat
Sammy
See him doze in my lap
Patty
There's few feelings closer than that
I'm at home when I'm stroking a cat
Behind the ears, now under the chin
Tickle the tummy, and feel the fluff on your skin
I had a cold heart, but that frost was going to melt
Because your fine fluffy fur was the softest thing I've felt
Put me in contact with my lost and inner self
But gosh, your droppings are the most obnoxious thing I've smelt
If Jay Z had a baby with a crazy cat lady
Their DNA would mutate to make me
It may be crazy that I cradle cats in place of babies
But you wouldn't make me change my behaviour if you paid me
Maybe it's love, perhaps it's toxoplasmosis
Honestly, I'm kind of shocked that I wrote this
I'm too far gone, I'm lost and I'm hopeless
Put a poster on the lamp post for me, and hope someone will notice
Jimmy
I'm stroking a cat
Sammy
See him doze in my lap
Patty
There's few feelings closer than that
I'm at home when I'm stroking a cat
Behind the ears, now under the chin
Tickle the tummy, and feel the fluff on your skin
I try not to treat you anthropormorphically
But damn, if you could talk to me
That'd be awesome, see
I need to reassure you that I'll always be here for you
Though we are mere mortal beings
I would run a mile for every single minute that I fear for you
I'm no loyalist but to me you are the real royal
Developed and bred up as a vicious predator
I found it tricky to picture, 'til you ripped that stick of feathers up
You're like a teddy bear, but sentient with agency
That's why I savour the sentiment you'd deign to play with me
The wide world is dangerous; home's a haven, sweet
And if you need love enough, I'm sure we have a vacancy
Jimmy
I'm stroking a cat
Sammy
See him doze in my lap
Patty
There's few feelings closer than that
I'm at home when I'm stroking a cat
Behind the ears, now under the chin
Tickle the tummy, and feel the fluff on your skin
Aside from mewling, I'll never get to hear you speak
But we communicate in other ways, enough to know you're unique
The pet sanctuary was a feline Who's Who
Perusing kittens like I was trying on a new shoe
I wonder what the factor was that made me choose you
Don't know, perhaps you chose me, and I just knew too
You had a true cuteness I never grew used to
It rips my heart apart knowing that soon I'll lose you
I don't want to lose you
I love you
