Ay, look, uh, yeah, I'd like to make an appointment please, I need a doctor, no, not Doctor Dre, an ac- an actual medical doctor please Ay, this song's kind of like a doctor's appointment I made it for my welfare, not for enjoyment The current state of healthcare's gotten fairly poignant Employment in the NHS is stress and disappointment Plus regarding these doctors and nurses There's a large divide between what their cost and their worth is What they're giving us is not just customer's service Thus I'm not certain what they've done to deserve this And I know economically there's not often a surplus Especially with Tony Crony stock that we purchase It's like the coffers are coffins dropped in a furnace Gosh, it must have just got lost under the surface Observing those at the top's like watching a circus Of obnoxious impervious toffs that are discourteous Not fussed what we eat, they just scoff their desserts up And really couldn't give a toss if it hurts us They've got the moral virtue of a disturbingly damp sock Let me just take a second to say - fuck Matt Hancock! And fuck Boris Johnson! There's nothing of his conscience Not because he's competent, but 'cause he's over confident He's not a plonker, he's an avaricious wanker Ask a question different days, you'll have a different answer Abandoned his kid that he had with a mistress That just goes to show that it isn't the kid, that's the bastard! Jesus, fuck! Fucking shit! Somebody, call a doctor, quick! Fuck this shit! What the fuck? Somebody, call a doctor up! Jesus, what the fuck is that? Somebody, call a doctor stat! What the hell? Fucking wow! Somebody, call a doctor now! I'm a rapper without purpose, stacking up countless verses Tracks queued like patients in the National Health Service My playlist is a waiting list I made to pass the days to death I'm praying that it's painless, then remembered I'm an atheist Would you actually look at the state of this? Can you imagine your taxes bloody paid for this? Crazy shit! Sorry, I didn't want to be ableist, today But it just gets straight under my skin, it's subcutaneous Look at this great big list of miscellaneous failures Is it incompetence, corruption, or plain flippin' laziness? Follow the dollar trail, there's obviously some shady shit The misappropriation of our Great British safety net Maybe if we necromanced Clement Attlee back He'd save us, but sadly these days, it ain't what labour is See, it's karma, all I see is Kier Starmer In a sea of parliamentary sharks appeasing big pharma He's a real charmer until he'll disarm you With a demeanour that appears harmless like a meaner Shere Khan does Of only Tony Benn was here, he'd be a father To our social care, and sheathe it in a coat of steel armour You know who's slightly overrated? Mister B Obama Clear killing civilians with drones, he's a real bomber Told us he'd close Guantanamo Bay So why the hell is it still open today? I know that's not remotely related to the topic of this track But it's a fact, I just, you know, needed to say Stop idolising people, at most you guys are equal Then you won't be so surprised when finding that they're evil I wish politicians weren't such a fucking obstacle Look at them putting hospitals under mobster rule Hey, I just remembered this is a G-funk bop So I better start popping off my Glock pistol Jesus, fuck! Fucking shit! Somebody, call a doctor, quick! Fuck this shit! What the fuck? Somebody, call a doctor up! Jesus, what the fuck is that? Somebody, call a doctor stat! What the hell? Fucking wow! Somebody, call a doctor now! Mixing up nasty flows with the Hippocratic Oath Giving the government such an intimate exam, it needs a chaperone Hammer home that reflex test until I shatter bone And they're wailing like an eighties solo on a saxophone Fact is I'm just sat alone, chatting through your gramophone The evidence that I present is anecdotal, and I'm hopeful That you know better than just believing any bloke who's speaking In a manner that suggests he knows something any deeper Than a medical professional, credentials are respectable However, it's always essential that you check the source Like you check your balls, you need to squeeze the whole testicle Know when to consult professionals, or to be skeptical Don't recommend you take this track as medical advice Because I'm just inventing anything I like Like a fake war veteran who's never been in fights But pretending that he'd die for his fellas by their side Our leaders treat the NHS as benefit in kind They're rarely fit for purpose, yet they never just resign Just keep telling us it's fine with a repetitious line They prepared for television baring their malicious mind Sneaky underhanded wicked venomously vile Steal that advantage with a devilish delight Peel back the bandage, the infection in its rife It seems the medicine cabinet has some skeletons inside Jesus, fuck! Fucking shit! Somebody, call a doctor, quick! Fuck this shit! What the fuck? Somebody, call a doctor up! Jesus, what the fuck is that? Somebody, call a doctor stat! What the hell? Fucking wow! Somebody, call a doctor now! Saying for the considerably funky ambulance, oh my god, imagine, hahaha, imagine an online ambulance, the hydraulic, hah, bouncy up and down, hahaha, patient in the back just uh, uh, we have fun, we have fun that we