My plumbin' be drippin' out water Tap on, I wanna repair it But I can't find a plumber to come and look at it Because of corona, we don't wanna get it I gotta spend a lot Two-week waiting list on my grocery shoppin' I need that loo roll today Been usin' my naked hand to wipe my bottom Call that the ploppin' challenge Proper bellend What's apparent's That I got the talent So you better not be tellin' Anybody that I'm not 'cause I'll complain More than a caucasian lady with a Bo Yeah, watch it Karen Ha, lethal, I damage you Now, let me speak to your manager Hold your government to account Don't allow them to cause any balls up Before this month, we were all in the pub Now we're all subbed to PornHub Can't get a haircut Barbers? They're shut Check my minimal new shoes, barefoot Mayday, mayday Amazon isn't delivering the same day Ay, JJ Less drip, more toilet roll, let's Try wipin' your arse with a Rolex Trust, it won't just be encrusted with diamonds And I wonder why when women withhold sex Got the whole wide world cock blockin' By this point I'd... dot cotton 'Scuse me, can't stop coughin' Should probably get checked But I've not got the option Why's it easier to get a disease Than to be tested for the toxin? Remember the days you could head off to Sainsbury's Straight away and just pop in Now I can't buy it Guess I'm on a diet So why's my weight not droppin'? Could be 'cause I'm not movin' from day to day I spent £200 on takeaways Hey, it's aneasy mistake to make But there's a way to change it up straight away Look, mate Till the other day I was a lazy sob Now I don't want to come home from a daily job Shit got me tossing salads Appropriating things off Italians Can't even get a spoonful of sugar now That's the poppins challenge Now try the lock-in challenge Just stay in your fucking dwellings Tucked up snug as a bug in your home Or you could end up looking like Bugzy Malone Bloomin' hell, I'm in trouble now Couldn't help runnin' my mouth Without dumbin' it down Still, you kind of like my style Kind of hate it Hi mom, I finally made it Me and my mom have been tight for ages Come to think of it, we might be related Anyway, I better be headin' away I'm late for an appointment in bed, hibernatin' But by the way, my name's Dan Bull And I might one day replace Randolph So I'd advise you to like and subscribe today Let me provide my handles and channel Boom Boom I can't stop singin' this bloody tune Tune