Look at that hamster, damn He's kind of a big wheel - Anchorman Hammond's a mechanical animal for example Like an album from Marilyn Manson, however more amicable, oh He's a big mech battling ball That'll swing that grappling claw Have a think what that'll involve Here's a clue - you'll be bruised, bloodied, battered and sore Deploying shield with the minefield So pen your final will, and get it signed, sealed, delivered Then have a nice meal, finish and lie still The last thing you're going to hear's a high squeal Yeah, I know it doesn't seem quite real When you're on the back foot like a high heel That'll snap, you're no match for a stamp from a huge boot Damn, but he's too cute Hammond has only got one ball The other does not exist at all Hammond is less than one foot tall But he's like a vinegar soaked conker conquers all Hammond exemplifies The Latin text: "semper fi" But vivisectionists are pitiless So forgive our friend for being a bit sick of this It's as if he's infinitely stuck in a loop Like a gif of the myth of Sisyphus Shit's ridiculous, look, here's a lesson to take Just because he's little doesn't make him any less of a brain He was getting ready, and waiting to jet and escape And that patience gave him success on a plate Now specimen eight will never get in the cage again He's ready to decimate, hit the Australian plains Big ball energy Want to do a bit more than gnaw celery So quick, pour the Hennessy Until it hits the floor in your memory So let me provide a tissue for the final issue 'Cause when the piledriver hits you I predict you won't survive, you'll be just goo So goodbye, we'll miss you Hammond has only got one ball The other does not exist at all Hammond is less than one foot tall But he's like a vinegar soaked conker conquers all